Montage Inc™

Movie montages have shown us that anything is possible with a few camera cuts and some 80s music. They are the greatest un-tapped resource in the world today and the possibilities they offer are endless. However, this resource has never been made available to the public… until now.

Having noticed this gap in the market my flat mate and I have decided to start the company Montage Inc. Our goal is to offer the public the kind of easy self improvement only seen previously in movies such as Rocky.

Standard Montages:
Do you want to achieve something easily and fast? Montage Inc offers a wide range of montages to for fill you needs.

- Training/Learning:
This is one of our most popular packages due to its flexibility. In the past customers have used it for sports training, artistic training or training related to a job and/or education (some colleges have banned the use of montages by students). This package comes with a selection of optional 80s music including Eye of the Tiger, I Need a Hero, Footloose and more.

- Dating:
Want to charm that special someone? Let montages help your love life with a collection of date highlights. The strength of montage needed depends on how much your date likes you to start with. Customers wanting to use this package must provide ID proving they are over 18.

- Shopping:
This package is most popular with the ladies. However, our market research has recently shown that men have also chosen this package to make shopping trips with their wife/girlfriend as short as possible.

- Building:
This package was made popular by the A-Team in the 80’s. It is also a very flexible package due to the many things that can be built with it from a small sculpture to a huge battle tank. Other available montages: Building a business, cleaning, competition participation, writing, investigation and social interaction (becoming popular) montages.

Strength of Montage:
The strength of the montage required will be affected by the difference between the customer’s ability pre-montage and their desired result post-montage. Small changes will only require a mintarge (minimum montage) with long camera shots and slow music. More extreme changes will require a maxtarge (maximum montage) with quick camera cuts and fast music. More then one montage a day may also be required.

Travel Montage: Our research department has developed a way to use the power of montages for travel. If you need to travel long distances in just a few seconds you can use our new Montage Drive™ to experience the journey in just a few seconds of highlights.

Faster then Montage Drive™ – Coming Soon

Holiday Montage:
We can also offer cheaper holidays through montage. Can’t afford that dream holiday to The Bahamas? Why not experience the highlights and cut out the boring parts with a montage and pay only 25% of the full price.

Disclaimer:
Unfortunately not all effects are positive. Movies show a biased view of montages and hide the fact that (if handled incorrectly) they may have negative effects such as a decline into alcoholism, drug addiction or other undesired habits in just a few camera cuts. These are called negatages (negative montages).

In the event of a negatage Montage Inc can not be held responsible. However, we can offer a recovery montage at a reasonable price. In extreme cases mishandled montages may lead to an apocalypse montage. Custom Montages: Still don’t see the montage you would like? Contact one of our Montage Engineers for a consultancy. Let us know what you need.

Montage Inc
Happiness is just a few camera cuts away