Monday, July 03, 2006

Ninja Vampires of the Night

It might sound like the title of a low budget B-Movie starring Steven Price and Jean-Claude Van Damme (or Jean Claude Gosh Darn) but there is nothing fictional about it. It is a very real war that we have all been victims of. Each one of us has lost blood in the conflict. We all carry the wounds of battle. The enemy is known to us all, man, woman and child. It goes by many evil names but it is most commonly known as the Mosquito.


With the increase in mosquito activity (due to the heat) my collection of itchy bites has been steadily growing bigger every night and it is driving me insane. Even as I write this I am trying to resist the urge to scratch each nagging bite mark.

It seems no part of my body is safe from the menu. So far the mosquito dining of choice this season is a small amount of torso for starters followed by the main course of arm and elbow and to finish a side of face for desert. Each day I discover new bites.

*While typing this I did in fact discover a new bite... no joke*


I think they are getting smarter too. The little blood suckers no longer dive bomb my ear and wake me up like they used to with their constant buzzing. This means I can sleep without slapping myself in the face every time I attempt to stop the little flying Nosvarato using my ear as a landing pad. However, it also means I am defenceless to stop them. They are free to silently suck my blood at their leisure while I snooze, unaware of the blood robbery taking place.

*At this point during writing I noticed a mosquito on the wall next to me, tried to hit it but missed*

The only evidence they leave at the crime scene is the stinging itch I discover later the next day. It can be a few hours before I realize I have been 'visited' in the night. It only takes one unconscious scratch to turn a hardly noticeable bite into a burning lump of itchy pain. I know I should not scratch them but it must take monk like calm and jedi training to resist the urge.

*There was a short pause here while I tried to deal with a mosquito crawling on my monitor and missed again*

I've already become paranoid and started slapping my skin when ever I think I feel something crawling on in. It will not be long before I am rocking back and forth in a corner of my bedroom and muttering like Rainman. If anyone knows a way to keep the mosquitoes away I would love to hear about it. The garlic and wolvesbane around my bed is not doing the trick.

*Before finally posting this I saw a mosquito again, probably the same one... stalking me. I fear sleep. They mostly come at night... mostly.*

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